You got a warrant?

OK, I didn't leave my baby on roof of the car.  But when I told Seth what I did do, he said "Wow, honey.  You are like one of those ladies that leaves her baby on top of the car."  

While not fond of the comparison, he had a point.  Because here's what I did do.  I drove to the gym with my daughter securely inside the car.  And when we got to the gym and I parked the car, Lakeland leaned forward.  Waaaaayyyyy forward...and said "Mommy, why didn't you make me safe this time?"

I turned around to find my very perplexed toddler (actually, um...can I get arrested for this?  If you are a police officer, please stop reading this blog immediately) sitting, seat belt unengaged, in her car seat.  

If this has happened to you, and it probably hasn't because you are probably not the worst parent in the United States, you know that this is not the same feeling you might have when, say, you leave a cup of coffee on the hood.  Or you pull into the garage with your kayak on the roof of your car.  Again.  Or you leave yourself signed onto Facebook or Gmail at a public computer.  Or really, any other idiotic thing that you might do.  I mean to tell you, this was a gut check.  As in, my guts lurched forward and gave me a well deserved punch to my sternum.  This was basically all of my parental insecurities, from screwing up sleep and potty training to being pretty sure that my kid is going to turn into a monster, all rolled up into a nice, pretty, unbelted package.

Lakeland happily swung down from her chair, unattended to, and hopped into the front seat, sing-songing "Mommy, you didn't buckle me.  Mommy, you didn't buckle me."  Because when you're little, it's kind of cool.  When you're 35...not so much.  Not even Brittney Spears is cool enough to pull this off. 

Things that are important to know about this situation:
1.  We live 0.3 miles from the gym.  Here.  I googlemapped it for you.

Walking directions are in beta.

Use caution – This route may be missing sidewalks or pedestrian paths.    
***Or babies could be left on the roofs of cars!!***

Suggested routes

0.3 mi, 6 mins

Wyndham Cir

2.  I know what you're thinking.  (Besides the obvious...why do they let people like you have children, etc, etc, etc...)
 

You all:  Why didn't she just walk?  

Me:  Because.  And this isn't what you should be judging me for, people.

You all:  Really?  You can't walk less than half a mile to the gym??  (I can hear the sarcasm in your voices.)

Me:  It was raining!  

3.  I felt really, really awful.  Obviously.  No matter what sympathetic offerings other women provided.  When I got to the daycare at the gym, I felt I needed to offload some of the guilt by sharing this mortifying moment with LL's very sweet caregiver, who said "Don't worry, honey, everybody does that once or twice."  To which I replied, "Really?  Oh, thank GOD.  So you've done it, too?"  To which she replied, "No, not me!  No!  I've never done that!"  

3a.  When I told my mom, who, incidentally, DID leave her kayak on the roof of her car as she drove into the garage...again...she said "OH MY GOD, ERIN!!  THAT'S AWFUL!"  

There is nothing like the comforting words of your mom...

3b.  And speaking of my mom, when I was a kid, she drove around with my brothers unbelted, on the backseat, and I rode on the fricken floorboards.  Regardless of the weather or distance of travel.  When my oldest brother Josh was an infant, he rode bundled in blankets, in the front seat of the car.  And since breastfeeding wasn't encouraged then, my mom used to bottle fed us while she was driving.  (I don't know if that's really true or not.  Mom?  Want to weigh in?)

4.  I don't mean to make any of this sound like it was my mom's fault.  Obviously it wasn't.