Last time I cleaned her tank, Not Norma almost got dead too.
It was all so innocent when it began. Catching her in a glass had never before presented an issue. I mean, her tank is only a gallon and a half. It's not like trying to catch a fish in an ocean with a sandbucket.
However, on this particular day, Not Norma was juking me like a professional athlete. I chased her around and around, plunging the glass into her tank over and over. I finally got tired of the cat and mouse chase, and that's when shit got real.
I got as agressive as one can get with a jelly jar in hand, and I aimed for the majority of her sleek, blue body. And I caught her! Well, most of her...
Maybe I clipped off part of her tail as I squished her frantic body between the glass and her tank. I'm quite sure she doesn't need that whole billowy, beautiful tail just to float around in a gallon of water.
Once I got most of Not Norma
So I figured I'd just dump most of the glass full of water down the sink, being, you know, careful to keep her contained. It would have all worked out perfectly, had she not propelled herself right out of the glass. The next thing I knew, her little body was halfway down the drain. Poor Not Norma's shocked little face, the only visible part of her, was looking up at me, fish lips opening and closing, silently demanding me to save her.
I had no choice but to grab her by her face with my thumb and pointer, lifting her from certain doom, and depositing her into a sparkly clean tank.
She zoomed around for a second, then swam (through her trajectory was a bit off, as she navigated the waters with her newly lopsided fins) to the side, and once there, stared me down with the meanest glare a fish can muster.
Lakeland watched this whole scene with equal parts delight and horror. Then declared, "Mommy, I'm pretty sure Not Norma is pissed at you".
