JORTS!

He said he got them as a joke. Seth bought THE most rancid pair of jean shorts (Jorts) he could find. They are so stretchy and old manish. They are that kind of bright blue color - more dye than denim, and he rolls them up. Twice. So they are also short. Gross.

He unveiled these shorts on the Saturday of Memorial Day Weekend, after having threatened me for months that he was going to get a pair. Everyone was cheering him on, but I refused to be an accomplice to his misguided purchase and poor fashion decisions.

On Monday, Memorial Day, he said "Don't worry, honey. The jorts are just a joke, and I'll only wear them when we go camping." That's what he said.

Fast forward to the next Saturday, our town's festival. I had strep throat, so I couldn't go downtown and eat meat on a stick and listen to accordions, but I gave Seth my blessing to please go, enjoy, and take Lakeland. I picked out a super cute outfit for her, and then shuffled back to bed. Seth, adorned with the jorts (you knew that was coming), put Lakeland's sandals on, WITH socks, which totally ruined the cuteness of her outfit, and headed out. I was too weak to argue the merits of stylish footwear.

Sunday. Seth pulls the jorts on. Again.

MONDAY. MORE JORTS!

I don't know. Three days in a row is excessive for any article of clothing to be worn no matter what it is, in my opinion. Add to that, he knew I could do nothing to stop him. I was too sick to swallow my own spit, so protesting was absolutely out of the question.

I feel pretty sure that the jorts are to become a staple in Seth's wardrobe. Which is funny and sad at the same time. It also means we get to start playing the game where he has to hide them from me, out of fear that they will never return from the laundry pile in the basement. Feel free to ask him where his half-calf cowboy boots are...just sayin'.