He Changes 1 out of 100 Diapers

Here are some of the dumb things my husband says about diaper duty:

I couldn't find the diapers. 

~ The location of the stored diapers has not changed since the birth of the baby six months ago.

I thought you already changed him.

~ I did. 5 hours ago. 

I saved his diaper for you, so you could see it.

~ Yeah, like this one particular diaper is a real game changer.

I change at least one out of every ten diapers.

~ Just a ludicrous suggestion...

I wasn't sure what to do with his diaper, so I just left it on the stairs.

~ I just...no. Not acceptable.

I had to use a disposable because I didn't know stuff about the other kind.

~ You didn't know "stuff". Like, all of a sudden, cloth diapering is outside of your realm.

I didn't use the butt stick.

~ No shit. (Poor rashy baby.)

I forgot the cream.

~ No shit. (Poor rashy baby.)

I didn't need wipes. He only peed.

~ That's not a thing. You gotta wipe his butt, dude.

I did my best.

~ Oh my GOD. WHAT DID YOU DO?!?